CAPTURING SOME EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCES
Instead
of reacting strongly, teachers should take it in their stride when caught in
embarrassing situations involving the outifts they wear to school.
IT was during one of our usual
hearty arguments over tea in our favourite mamak shop that Dilla flatly
declared that I was using the term “wardrobe malfunction” wrongly and that some
form of nudity or exposure had to be involved before I could refer to the
situation as such.
I told her she had been too
influenced by MTV and the stories of celebrity wardrobe malfunctions or
accidental nudity, not all of which, it is suspected, are purely accidental.
“We aren’t talking about the
Janet Jackson, Britney Spears kind of wardrobe malfunction here,” I said.
“I mean haven’t you ever had an
instance when you were put in an embarrassing situation caused by the clothes
you were wearing? Say, like a button on your blouse suddenly pops open when you
are teaching and you have to finish the rest of the lesson with your back
turned to the class, and inch your way sideways out of the class when it’s time
to leave?”
Dilla was indignant. “My
buttons don’t pop,”she said. “I would have you know that all my clothes are
carefully tailored by the highest quality tailors in town, with every button
painstakingly stitched on with precision and craft, guaranteed to withstand the
rigours of any activity pertaining to my teaching duties: The stretching of the
arm to write on the board, demonstrating an action, pointing towards an errant
student. No, I have never popped a button in my entire teaching career.
Of
buttons and straps
“OK, OK don’t get irritated,” I
told her. “I believe you. So you’ve never had buttons giving way when you were
teaching. But what about other forms of wardrobe malfunctions: hems getting
undone, a ripped seam perhaps, a strap showing.”
“You are treading on dangerous
ground, my friend,” said Dilla coldly, and refused to talk to me for a whole
minute.
Then, after her mango lassi was
served, she sighed and said, “Well, actually it did happen to me once, way
back, when I was teaching in Perak, but first, swear not to tell anyone.
“I had woken up late that day
and had to get ready in a hurry. The lamp in my room had fused the night
before, so, I had to fumble and feel the clothes as I dressed. No one said
anything to me in school although one or two of them did look at me a little
strangely,” said Dilla.
It was only after two hours of
teaching that one of the students had asked Dilla about where she bought her
skirt.
“It was an old skirt so I was
surprised, in fact, horrified that I had put it on the wrong way and all the
seams and pockets were hanging out,” said Dilla.
“So, what did you do?” I asked.
“Ah! This is where the true
test of a teacher comes in.When caught in embarrassing situations, how one
reacts is important.
“I nodded my head, said ‘Thank
you very much’ and told her that it was the latest fashion in Paris. Then, I
walked on confidently until I reached the ladies room where I turned the skirt
the right way out.
“So, there you go, it’s how you
tackle these situations that matter, not the wardrobe malfunction itself,”
declared Dilla proudly.
Something considerably more
serious than an inside-out skirt once happened to a former colleague, a cheery,
jovial Mathematics teacher with a rather ample waistline.
After
helping herself to an especially generous portion of nasi briyani during one of the staff pot-luck
parties, she loosened her skirt buckle as she usually did to “feel more
comfortable”.
However, she forgot to fasten
it when she entered her Math class and somewhere between histograms and ogives,
her skirt swept smoothly to the floor.
“I didn’t even notice it,” she
confessed to me later. “ ‘I was so engrossed in teaching, though I must admit I
did wonder why I felt a sudden draft between my legs.
“I
think the students were too amazed by the sight to even laugh. All they said
was ‘Cikgu, kain jatuh’ (Teacher, your skirt has fallen). I
looked down to see the crumpled heap at my feet.
Turning
the other way
“At that point the only thing
that I could think of was whether my blouse was long enough to cover my behind,
and thankfully it was.
“What to do? I had to fake
nonchalance and tell my students to turn the other way while I slipped my skirt
back on. But you know something, after that incident I somehow felt closer to
that class of students.
“It was as if it had made me
more human to them. It was like our shared secret and they became fiercely
protective over me,” the teacher laughed, recalling the incident.
When it comes to men, the most
common form of wardrobe malfunction is of course a split seam, or unzipped
trousers.
So, if sometimes you catch
students paying more attention to a certain part of your body rather than the
notes on the board, it may have to do with something other than raging teenage
hormones or your fantastic form.
While it’s not uncommon for
clothes to be accientally unzipped, unbuttoned, or worn inside-out or
back-to-front, such mishaps might be more embarrassing for people who are in
the public eye, and have to face an audience, like most celebrities or public
figures do. Teachers, although not celebrities, do have to face audiences of
about 40 students each, several times daily.
Unlike mature audiences who
discreetly try to look the other way when some part of your body or item of
inner-wear is showing, it is quite the opposite case with school children who
may be bored and just waiting for some form of distraction.
So, a hole on the shirt, an ink
smudge, a stain, or even mismatched socks are fodder for minds just dying for
some form of amusement.
The ratings are higher for
wardrobe malfunctions among female teachers, with ripped skirts or accidentally
exposed cleavage heading the list.
“They notice every single thing
about you,” says another teacher.
“Your tudung, earrings, nail colour, shoes, clothes. I’ve
even had students tell me that I was wearing the same dress as the previous
Wednesday, or that my nail polish had chipped. Sometimes, I don’t know whether
to be flattered or annoyed.”
Whether they like it or not,
most teachers would have to admit that their attire does come under the
scrutiny of their students.
This is probably why we pay
more attention to certain details in our dressing for school compared with
elsewhere.
As Dilla put it, we could
choose to feel like celebrities because so many eyes are upon us each day, or
like we’re judged by the fashion police.
She said, “I, for one, would
prefer it if people take notice of how I’m dressed rather than be completely
ignored, which of course has never happened. Still, I must admit all that
attention can be pretty unnerving at times.”
0 comments:
Post a Comment