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CAPTURING SOME EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCES

Instead of reacting strongly, teachers should take it in their stride when caught in embarrassing situations involving the outifts they wear to school.
IT was during one of our usual hearty arguments over tea in our favourite mamak shop that Dilla flatly declared that I was using the term “wardrobe malfunction” wrongly and that some form of nudity or exposure had to be involved before I could refer to the situation as such.
I told her she had been too influenced by MTV and the stories of celebrity wardrobe malfunctions or accidental nudity, not all of which, it is suspected, are purely accidental.
“We aren’t talking about the Janet Jackson, Britney Spears kind of wardrobe malfunction here,” I said.
“I mean haven’t you ever had an instance when you were put in an embarrassing situation caused by the clothes you were wearing? Say, like a button on your blouse suddenly pops open when you are teaching and you have to finish the rest of the lesson with your back turned to the class, and inch your way sideways out of the class when it’s time to leave?”
Dilla was indignant. “My buttons don’t pop,”she said. “I would have you know that all my clothes are carefully tailored by the highest quality tailors in town, with every button painstakingly stitched on with precision and craft, guaranteed to withstand the rigours of any activity pertaining to my teaching duties: The stretching of the arm to write on the board, demonstrating an action, pointing towards an errant student. No, I have never popped a button in my entire teaching career.
Of buttons and straps
“OK, OK don’t get irritated,” I told her. “I believe you. So you’ve never had buttons giving way when you were teaching. But what about other forms of wardrobe malfunctions: hems getting undone, a ripped seam perhaps, a strap showing.”
“You are treading on dangerous ground, my friend,” said Dilla coldly, and refused to talk to me for a whole minute.
Then, after her mango lassi was served, she sighed and said, “Well, actually it did happen to me once, way back, when I was teaching in Perak, but first, swear not to tell anyone.
“I had woken up late that day and had to get ready in a hurry. The lamp in my room had fused the night before, so, I had to fumble and feel the clothes as I dressed. No one said anything to me in school although one or two of them did look at me a little strangely,” said Dilla.
It was only after two hours of teaching that one of the students had asked Dilla about where she bought her skirt.
“It was an old skirt so I was surprised, in fact, horrified that I had put it on the wrong way and all the seams and pockets were hanging out,” said Dilla.
“So, what did you do?” I asked.
“Ah! This is where the true test of a teacher comes in.When caught in embarrassing situations, how one reacts is important.
“I nodded my head, said ‘Thank you very much’ and told her that it was the latest fashion in Paris. Then, I walked on confidently until I reached the ladies room where I turned the skirt the right way out.
“So, there you go, it’s how you tackle these situations that matter, not the wardrobe malfunction itself,” declared Dilla proudly.
Something considerably more serious than an inside-out skirt once happened to a former colleague, a cheery, jovial Mathematics teacher with a rather ample waistline.
After helping herself to an especially generous portion of nasi briyani during one of the staff pot-luck parties, she loosened her skirt buckle as she usually did to “feel more comfortable”.
However, she forgot to fasten it when she entered her Math class and somewhere between histograms and ogives, her skirt swept smoothly to the floor.
“I didn’t even notice it,” she confessed to me later. “ ‘I was so engrossed in teaching, though I must admit I did wonder why I felt a sudden draft between my legs.
“I think the students were too amazed by the sight to even laugh. All they said was ‘Cikgu, kain jatuh’ (Teacher, your skirt has fallen). I looked down to see the crumpled heap at my feet.
Turning the other way
“At that point the only thing that I could think of was whether my blouse was long enough to cover my behind, and thankfully it was.
“What to do? I had to fake nonchalance and tell my students to turn the other way while I slipped my skirt back on. But you know something, after that incident I somehow felt closer to that class of students.
“It was as if it had made me more human to them. It was like our shared secret and they became fiercely protective over me,” the teacher laughed, recalling the incident.
When it comes to men, the most common form of wardrobe malfunction is of course a split seam, or unzipped trousers.
So, if sometimes you catch students paying more attention to a certain part of your body rather than the notes on the board, it may have to do with something other than raging teenage hormones or your fantastic form.
While it’s not uncommon for clothes to be accientally unzipped, unbuttoned, or worn inside-out or back-to-front, such mishaps might be more embarrassing for people who are in the public eye, and have to face an audience, like most celebrities or public figures do. Teachers, although not celebrities, do have to face audiences of about 40 students each, several times daily.
Unlike mature audiences who discreetly try to look the other way when some part of your body or item of inner-wear is showing, it is quite the opposite case with school children who may be bored and just waiting for some form of distraction.
So, a hole on the shirt, an ink smudge, a stain, or even mismatched socks are fodder for minds just dying for some form of amusement.
The ratings are higher for wardrobe malfunctions among female teachers, with ripped skirts or accidentally exposed cleavage heading the list.
“They notice every single thing about you,” says another teacher.
“Your tudung, earrings, nail colour, shoes, clothes. I’ve even had students tell me that I was wearing the same dress as the previous Wednesday, or that my nail polish had chipped. Sometimes, I don’t know whether to be flattered or annoyed.”
Whether they like it or not, most teachers would have to admit that their attire does come under the scrutiny of their students.
This is probably why we pay more attention to certain details in our dressing for school compared with elsewhere.
As Dilla put it, we could choose to feel like celebrities because so many eyes are upon us each day, or like we’re judged by the fashion police.

She said, “I, for one, would prefer it if people take notice of how I’m dressed rather than be completely ignored, which of course has never happened. Still, I must admit all that attention can be pretty unnerving at times.”




















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